Shell Shock

Reality slapped me in the face today. My weight is outragous. Yeah, yeah I know you are thinking "Oh this is another girl complaining about her weight". No, it is much more. But weight is where it is starting.

My stats: 25, 5'2, fm(if you hadn't guessed) and I weigh 191lbs (yeah I know).

How this happened I am not sure, I have never been the heavy girl but recently the thought had been weighing on my mind heavily (lol). I was always the cute blonde fun girl. I swear I do not look like I weigh that much, and when I told a few of my friends their jaws about dropped off is disbelief.

I have noticed in my twenties that I body had started to change along with my mood and personality. I guess the real world has hit me. I am a homeowner, I am in my 3rd year of my career, going to graduate school, and I have been dating the most amazing man for 4 years.

I have always been very active but as the real world came hurling at me 3+ years ago that activity hit and I got busy. I forgot about me. I forgot to take care of the vessel that God gaveto me at birth and I have neglected it. I am discusted with myself.

The process of dealing with a hard reality is nearly the same for all. Get upset, maybe cry (which I did in the driveway of my home) and then get angry and do something about it.

So this blog is about me doing something about it. It's not just about my weight but its about rediscovering myself and still maintaining my career and relationships. There is no start over button. Throughout this journey I will grow and find my center again, both figurativly and literally.

Failure is the fertilizer that allows us to grow and learn.

-fg